Post by yue96 on Jun 30, 2020 18:54:01 GMT -5
Hi there! I'm here cause right now, after discuverinng what Demisexuality is, I've kinda been wondering if I am one, mainly because of the last two years of my life. I'm now 24 years old, but only when I was 22 is that I fell in love for the first time, with one of my close friends and with whom I had sex for the first time. We don't date or anithing, cause it's complicated, but until the moment where I started to see him differently because he made a move, I never had ever felt the kind of sexual attraction I felt for him, and he isn't even like SUPER gorgeous or anything, he's normal guy beauty, or rather he now is, cause before I knew him better I didn't even found his looks interesting, it was after I knew him better that I started to notice him. And after I got over him, my stupid brain fell I love, again, with my other best friend, who until that point I even saw has a brother, but then something clicked and farwell reasoning. Before this two guys I never had felt such strong feelings, I had crushes, but never or almost never thought of them sexually. I don't even have a type of guy, even if I wished I had, cause it would be simpler, I kinda of start liking a certain person's personality and then I start thinking of them as being handsome. Although as a teenager I very early got a sense of what sex was, started seeing porn, had some experiences with a friend, and really wanted to try it out, I was never the sort of person that likes to look for it, I kinda of focused on the feeling and not the fact that your doing it with someone else, don't know if I explain ed this well XD I learned a lot about sex, but never actively tryed to put it in practice, cause I knew the right person would eventually come along to try it and because I am a bit chubby and self-conscious about my body, I always felt like I need to know the person I'm gonna be so intimate with, I need to know I can trust him. And my dream is like have a serious relationship with a best friend, like Monica and Chandler from Friends, for those who know the series, cause they were friends for a long time and then really found each other and that's beautiful and all I want. I can't even image putting myself throw the normal dating system, where you go out with someone with hope of it evolving into a physical and emotional relationship, it freaks me out to "put it out on the table" like that. I like to start a relationship without any expectations, like a friendship starts, and then let things unfold. But then I don't know if I really am demisexual or if I'm just a very picky classic heteroflexible person, cause I didn't took like years to fall in love, from the beginning of the friendship, the first guy I knew for 4 months before I fell for him, and the second one I knew for 1 year before developing deep feelings for him, but both of them were to me the type of friendship where although you just met a few months ago, deeply you feel like you've known them your hole life, or at least like you've known them for years. I am 24 and have never had a lasting relationship, just one 2 week trial cause I was desperate to know what dating was like, and then a boyfriend for like 2 or 3 months that I think I didn't even like but again out of desperation to meet the expectations that the world has of young people I started dating. And I'm not the kind of people that sees a hot guy, or girl cause you never know whom your brain gonna pick, and thinks "dang, gotta hit that piece of candy" XD I just think personalities are a HUGE part of a person's beauty. Am I demisexual or just very anti-social? Cause I don't have a problem with self identifying has hetero or heteroflexible, but I never felt like I fitted that group as well has the people that surround me. What do you people of this forum think?