Post by marriedtodemi on Dec 9, 2017 14:42:42 GMT -5
This is long and confusing. But I've spent 17 years feeling like my spouse is lying to me and now finding some others that feel like he claims. I'm a sexual person, always enjoyed porn and had crushes on celebrities. When we met we spent lots of nights on my couch talking about everything. We really quickly became close friends, then he said he didn't know what was happening but he was attracted to me and had never felt anything like it. He said he'd never felt sexual until me, now he's very sexual with me. He's always insisted he thinks nudity or women acting sexual is disgusting and sick, he doesn't understand how anyone wants to see that. He claims he's never found anyone pretty or cute or anything unless he sees they are nice, he says it has nothing to do with their physical appearance and people might as well be robots until he sees they are nice or mean. I've never believed him because it seemed so foreign to me. I figured he was trying to hide something, I don't know. He goes crazy knowing I have been sexual in my life before him and can't understand it. There have been 3 time periods in these 17 years he has gotten so crazy picturing it he (knowing I'm very insecure and jealous) has gone through porn on Google images, just anything he can think of trying to get revenge but says it just makes him more mad and sick. I don't believe him when he says he didn't like it because I'm such a sexual person when it comes to porn, I can't imagine going through pages of sexual pictures and not finding anything attractive or feeling anything. He says it all looks the same and how could he have found any of it attractive and he doesn't understand my way of thinking. We went to a counselor who believes him that he wasn't looking at the pictures or caring. It's making me feel so confused and the counselor recommended I come to AVEN (and there I found the link to this site) to try to hear from some other people who understand how he thinks. Right now I just feel he's lying. I know his friends were surprised he had a girlfriend when we got together because he tried to have sex twice at a girl's insistence and couldn't get an erection and they said he wouldn't watch if there was nudity or sexual scenes in movies. I'm so confused and would love to understand him and believe him finally.